What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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