What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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