What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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