What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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