What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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