What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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