What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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