What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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