What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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