What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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