What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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