What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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