What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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