What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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