What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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