What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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