What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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