What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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