What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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