What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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