What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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