What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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