What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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