What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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