What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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