What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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