What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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