What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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