What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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