What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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