What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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