What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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