What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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