What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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