What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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