What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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