What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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