What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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