What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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