What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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