What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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