What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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