What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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