What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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