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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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What is a frog's favorite year?
Leap Year
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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Which is the most religious cheese?
Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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