What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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