What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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