What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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