What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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