What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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