What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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