What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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