What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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