What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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