What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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