What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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