What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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