What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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