What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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