What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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