What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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