What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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