What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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