What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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