What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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