What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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