What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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