What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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