What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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