What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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