What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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