What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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