What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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