What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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