What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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