What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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