What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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