What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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