What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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