What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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