What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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