What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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