What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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