What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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