What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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