What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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