What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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