What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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