What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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