What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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