What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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