What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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