What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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