What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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