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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?
A cow walking backwards
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?
Ihop
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?
Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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