What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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