What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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