What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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