What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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