What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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