What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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