What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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