What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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