What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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