What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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