What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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