What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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