What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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