What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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