What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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