What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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