What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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