What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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