What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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