What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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