What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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