What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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