What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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