What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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