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What has four legs but never stands?
A Chair!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?
The Flea Stooges!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?
That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do Russians use for napkins?
Soviets
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the banana split?
It saw the ginger snap.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
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