What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
Canvas not available.

or


I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
Canvas not available.

or


What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
Canvas not available.

or


How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
Canvas not available.

or


What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
Canvas not available.

or


How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
Canvas not available.

or


What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
Canvas not available.

or


How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026