What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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