What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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