What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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