What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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