What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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