What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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