What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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