What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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