What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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