What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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