What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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