What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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