What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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