What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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