What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A seal walks into a club...
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