What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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