What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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