What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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