What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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