What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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