What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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