What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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