What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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