What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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