What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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