What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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