What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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