What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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