What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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