What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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