What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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