What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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