What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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