What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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