What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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