What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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