What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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