What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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