What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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