What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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