What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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