What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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