What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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