What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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