What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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