What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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