What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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