What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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