What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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