What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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