What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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