What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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