What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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