What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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