What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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