What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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