What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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