What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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