What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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