What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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