What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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