What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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