What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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