What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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