What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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