What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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