What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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