What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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