What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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