What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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