What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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