What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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