What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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