What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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