What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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