What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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