What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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