A sponge!
or
Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
or
Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
or
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
or
Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
or