What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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