What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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