What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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