What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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