What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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