What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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