What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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