What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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