What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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