What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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