What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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