What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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