What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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