What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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