What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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