What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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