What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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