What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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