What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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