What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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