What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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