What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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