What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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