What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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