What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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