What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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