What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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