What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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