What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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