What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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