What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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