What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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