What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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