What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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