What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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