What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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