What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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