What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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