What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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