What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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