What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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