What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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