What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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