What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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