What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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