What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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