What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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