What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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