What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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