What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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