What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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