What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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