What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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