What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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