What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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