What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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