What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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