What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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