What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.


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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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