What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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