What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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