What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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