What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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