What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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