What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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