What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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