What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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