What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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