What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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