What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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