What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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