What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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