What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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