What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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