What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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