What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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