What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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