What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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