What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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