What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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