What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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