What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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