What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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