What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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