What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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