What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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