What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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