What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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