What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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