What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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