What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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