What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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