What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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