What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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