What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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