What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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