What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

Itís a little fishy.
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Iíve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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