What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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