What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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