What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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