What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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