What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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