What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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