What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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