What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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