What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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