What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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