What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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