What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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