What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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