What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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