What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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