What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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