What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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