What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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