What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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