What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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