What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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