What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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