What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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