What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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