What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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