What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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