What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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