What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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