What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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