What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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