What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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