What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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