What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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