What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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