What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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