What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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