What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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