What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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