What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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