What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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