What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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