What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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