What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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