What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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