What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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