What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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