What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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