What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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