What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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