What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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