What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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