What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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