What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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