What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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