What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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