What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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