What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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