What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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