What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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