What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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