What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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