What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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