What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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