What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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