What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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