What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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