What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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