What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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