What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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