What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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