What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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