What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

Itís Hans free.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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