What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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