What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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