What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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