What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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