What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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