What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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