What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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