What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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