What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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