What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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