What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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