What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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