What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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