What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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