What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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