What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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