What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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