What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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