What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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