What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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