What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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