What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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