What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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