What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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