What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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