What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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