What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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