What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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