What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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