What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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