What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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