What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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