What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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