What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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