What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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