What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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