What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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