What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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