What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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