What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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