What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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