What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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