What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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