What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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