What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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