What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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