What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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