What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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