What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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