What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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