What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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