What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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