What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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