What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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