What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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