What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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