What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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