What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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