What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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