What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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