What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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