What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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