What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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