What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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