What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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