What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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