What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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