What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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