What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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