What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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