What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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