What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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