What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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