What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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