What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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