What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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