What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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