What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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