What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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