What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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