What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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