What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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