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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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What is green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?
Bugs Bunny.
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