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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;
I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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