What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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