What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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