What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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