What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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