What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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