What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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