What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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