What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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