What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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