What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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