What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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