What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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