What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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