What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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