What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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