What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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