What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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