What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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