What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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