What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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