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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?
Slippers!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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