What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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