What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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