What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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