What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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