What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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