What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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