What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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