What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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