What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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