What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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