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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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What has holes all over and holds water?
A sponge!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
Anywhere it wants to
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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