What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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