What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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