What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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