What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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