What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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