What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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