What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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