What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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