What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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