What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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