What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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