What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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