What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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