What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A seal walks into a club...
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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