What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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