What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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