What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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