What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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