What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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