What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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