What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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