What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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