What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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