What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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