What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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