What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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