What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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