What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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