What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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