What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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