What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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