What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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