What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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