What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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