What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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