What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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