What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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