What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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