What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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