What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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