What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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