What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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