What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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