What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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