What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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