What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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