What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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