What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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