What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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