What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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