What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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