What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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