What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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