What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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