What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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