What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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