What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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