What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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