What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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