What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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