What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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