What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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