What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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