What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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