What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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