What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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