What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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