What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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