What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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