What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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