What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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