What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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