What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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