What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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