What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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