What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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