What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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