What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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