What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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