What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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