What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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