What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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