What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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