What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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