What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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