What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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