What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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