What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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