What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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