What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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