What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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