What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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