What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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