What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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