What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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