What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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