What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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