What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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