What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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