What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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