What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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