What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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