What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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