What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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