What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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