What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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