What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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