What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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