What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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