What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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