What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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