What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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