What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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