What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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