What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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