What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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