What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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