What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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