What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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