What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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