What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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