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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A nectarine!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the banana split?
It saw the ginger snap.
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