What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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