What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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