What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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