What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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