What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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