What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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