What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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