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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A nectarine!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
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