What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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