What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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