What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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