What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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