What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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