What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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