What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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