What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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