What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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