What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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