What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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