What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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