What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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