What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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