What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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