What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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