What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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