What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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