What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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