Chili
or
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
or
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
or
Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
or
Because pepper makes them sneeze
or
It ran out of juice!
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To get to the shell station.
or