What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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