What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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