What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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