What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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