What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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