What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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