What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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