What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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