What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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