What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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