What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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