What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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