What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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