What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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