What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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