What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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