What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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