What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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