What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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