What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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