What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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