What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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