What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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