What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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