What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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