What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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