What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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