What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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