What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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