What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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