What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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