What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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