What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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