What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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