What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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