What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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