What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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