What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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