What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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