What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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