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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
Meat and Democrats!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A puddle!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.
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