What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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