What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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