What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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