What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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