What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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