What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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