What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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