What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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