What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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