What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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