What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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