What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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