What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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