What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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