What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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