What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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