What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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