What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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