What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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