What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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