What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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