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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
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How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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