What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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