What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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