What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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