What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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