What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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