What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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