What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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