What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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