What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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