What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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