What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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