What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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