What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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