What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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