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What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?
Address.
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Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal.
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