What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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