What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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