What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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