What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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