What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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