What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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