What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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