What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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