What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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