What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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