What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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