What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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