What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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