What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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