What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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