What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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