What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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