What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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