What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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