What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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