What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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