What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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