What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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