What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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