What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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