What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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