What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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