What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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