What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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