What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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