What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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