What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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