What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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