What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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