What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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