What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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