What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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