What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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