What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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