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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?
To get his filling!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
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