What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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