What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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