What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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