What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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