What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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