What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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