What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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