What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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