What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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