What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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