What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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