What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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