What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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