What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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