What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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