What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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