What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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