What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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