What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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