What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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