What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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