What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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