What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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