What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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