What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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