What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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