What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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