What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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