What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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