What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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