What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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