What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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