What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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