What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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