What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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