What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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