What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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