What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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