What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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