What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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