What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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