What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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