What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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