What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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