What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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