What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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