What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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