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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A blackboard.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
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What's a royal pardon?
It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?
Their personalities.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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