What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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