What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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