What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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