What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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