What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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