What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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