What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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