What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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