What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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