What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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