What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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