What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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