What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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