What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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