What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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