What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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