What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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