What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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