What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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