What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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