What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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