What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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