What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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