What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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