What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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