What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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