What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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