What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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