What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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