What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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