What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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