What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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