What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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