What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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