What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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