What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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