What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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