What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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