What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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