What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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