What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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