What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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