What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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