What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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