What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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