What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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