What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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