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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it
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When should you buy a bird?
When it's going cheep!
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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What is green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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How do you make a band stand?
Take their chairs away!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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