What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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