What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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