What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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