What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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