What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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