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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?
Make America Hate Again.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
"Feel the World."
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