What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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