What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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