What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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