What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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