What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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