What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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