What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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