What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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