What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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