What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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