What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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