What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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