What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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