What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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