What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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