What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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