What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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