What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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