What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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