What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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