What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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