What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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