What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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