What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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