What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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