What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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