What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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