What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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