What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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