What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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