What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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