What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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