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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?
ICE ICE Baby......
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?
6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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