What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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