What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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