What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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