What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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