What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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