What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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