What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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