What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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