What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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