What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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