What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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