What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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