What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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