What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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