What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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