What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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