What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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