What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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