What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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