What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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