Woody the Wood Pickle.
or
It has a collar I.D.
or
The cow that jumped over the moon!
or
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
or
Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
or
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
or
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
or
A cheetah
or
"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
or
The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
or