What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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