What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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