What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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