What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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