What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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