What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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