What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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