What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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