What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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