What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva


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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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