What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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