What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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