What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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