What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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