What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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