What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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