What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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