What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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