What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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