What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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