What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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