What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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