What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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