What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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