What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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