What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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