What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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