What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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