What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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