What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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