What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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