What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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