What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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