What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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