What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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