What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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