What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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