What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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