What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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