What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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