What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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