What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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