What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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