What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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