What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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