What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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