What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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