What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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