What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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