What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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