What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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