What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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