What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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