What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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