What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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