What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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