What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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