What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

Canvas not available.

or


So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

Canvas not available.

or


Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
Canvas not available.

or


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
Canvas not available.

or


What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
Canvas not available.

or


What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
Canvas not available.

or


How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

Canvas not available.

or


How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2019