What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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