What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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