What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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