What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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