What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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