What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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