What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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