What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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