What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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