What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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