What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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