What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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