What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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