What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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