What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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