What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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