What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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