What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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