What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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