What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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