What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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