What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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