What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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