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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?
A scale.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
To see time fly.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?
A crossing guard.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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