What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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