What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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