What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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