What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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