What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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