What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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