What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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