What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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