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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?
A scale.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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