What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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