What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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