What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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