What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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