What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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