What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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