What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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