What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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