What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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