What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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