What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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