What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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