What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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