What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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