What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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