What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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