What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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